Advice for women who feel trapped in their marriage

It isn’t difficult for a woman to get into a “trapped” state of mind today; especially if you have been convinced you are safe depending on your husband for your existence. Although I feel best if my wife can depend upon me for her everything I can still see the problems with such a relationship. I know what I am made of and I know what my intentions are, so I don’t feel threatened for my wife. I will be there for her. That may not always be the case with every guy. 

There are several conditions that can make you feel trapped;

A) Financial dependence

B) You have moved far away from your family

C) You have children who need their Father

D) His family all support him – no matter what

E) This is your very first experience away from home

F) Your husband is a strong, assertive personality

G) You are easily convinced he will never do “it” again 

I am certain there are many more, particularly if we looked at each specific situation. The real problem is there is usually only one remedy for any of these situations; step up to it and react. 

A) FINANCIAL DEPENDENCE: This is a difficult one to refute. You have been duped into believing you do not have to work. In fact your husband doesn’t want you to work; he will take care of you. You have no income other than what he gives you to pay whatever bills he has entrusted you with. Then, he keeps very close tabs on the money he does give you and it is nearly impossible to squeeze any of it out. You can hardly do anything without your husband being a close, intimate part of it. 

B) MOVED AWAY: Your husband has moved you away to another state far from your family and the home you were brought up in. Sure you get the occasional telephone call but when you do, your husband is probably right there waiting to listen in. There is no way to get a letter either out or in. He may even have instructed you not to bother with the mail at all, he will take care of it. You are to far away from anyone who could help you to count on them under any circumstances. 

C) CHILDREN: Your children need care. They need the use of his insurance. They need the support, food, shelter, clothing, that, right now, only he can provide. For you to snatch them out of their home could be disastrous right now. 

D) FAMILY SUPPORT: He has moved you to a state where his family lives and where he was born and raised. He knows everyone and they all know him. He has friends all over town, friends who will go to bat for him, friends who will even watch his house for him when he is gone. You can hardly even get a friend of your own without him knowing everything about it. You are on your own in this home away from home. 

E) FIRST EXPERIENCE: You have never been married before. In fact you have never even left the state before. You have had several dates but nothing that amounted to anything. You are very young, naïve, and totally inexperienced. You are even apt to believe most anything he tells you because you have grown accustomed to his guidance. This experience will have you learning a great deal in a very short period of time. 

F) ASSERTIVE HUSBAND: Your husband is strong and assertive. He expects his will to be carried out to the letter. He wants a wife who will be there for him at all times, wait on him, take care of him and serve him. This may not have been all that bad, if you could have been on the receiving end once in a while but your husband’s demeanor will not allow that. You have a strong foe to challenge and it will take a lot of courage. 

G) EASILY SWAYED: When you do complain your husband is smart enough to agree with you and make promises about his changing his behavior. He will never do it again. He promises. He knows he was wrong and begs for just one more chance. After about a dozen or so “one more chances” you begin to realize exactly what you have gotten yourself into. 

Maybe none of those conditions describe what you are going through. If you are feeling trapped though, you must want out for one reason or another. You have no choice but to look close and hard at your circumstances and make a determination whether you need to be set free of if you have been blowing things out of proportion. 

If you still feel trapped you may have to make the ultimate sacrifice and disregard your own safety for the time being. You know where you are; you can figure out which direction your real home is. You need to establish his pattern of daily activities and work around them. You may need to be very unscrupulous for this one “break free” action. 

My advice for any woman who feels trapped in their marriage is to simply break free of the trap. If you have looked closely at your situation and have given your husband every benefit of the doubt, you have done all that can possibly be expected. If there is still clearly a trap with you as the occupant you need to get out as soon as you can. If it feels like a trap now, it has every potential of getting worse and maybe even dangerous. 

Whatever way you can do it, you must get word to your family and plead with them to help you. Family is family, regardless of most transgressions, your family will still be there for you. Grab your children, whatever resources you can possibly muster and get someone from your family to come get you as soon as possible. Do not set by and let your husband build the trap any tighter or stronger. 

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